No One Loves You Like Your Mother
“No one loves you like your Mother.” That’s according to Mimi, the Italian matriarch. And, as you can imagine, no one argues with Mimi. No one. And it is true, mothers are sacred. I know fathers are important and I honor their role – but let’s face it, they are no mothers. [Editor’s note: Um… what?] Mothers love fiercely and are intensely devoted; there is nothing like having the strength of a Mother’s love on your side. It makes you a better person who walks through the world in a more powerful way. A Father is your mentor, role model, friend and guide – but a mother is your heart.
There are evolutionary reasons for this, of course, as we are all just products of nature. Biologically, a Mom knows she is the Mom of her child. No Mom has ever watched a child emerge from her body and wondered if it is really hers. But there have been plenty of Dad’s who have been not so sure. This uncertainty can lead to a bit of a distancing. Also, men are capable of having lots of children – thousands in fact. Not that this is the norm, unless you are the King of Siam or an NBA star – but the possibility is there. Women, on the other hand can not physically have nearly as many, so each one becomes incredibly precious to her. Women care for and protect their children at all costs; it is why we take the crappy jobs with low pay, but with the right hours.
I just returned from the zoo, and it is everywhere. Males happily show up for mating season as many times as they can and the females do all the follow through. Yeah, I know about the penguins and the seahorses – and all the amazing Dads who manage to love like a Mom, but they are the exception that proves the rule. When we hear about deadbeat Dads or Dads who drop out of a kid’s life for a while, we sigh but it doesn’t really surprise us. When we hear of a Mom who abandons her children, we are shocked and confused. It doesn’t make sense to us because mothers love their children. When grown kids call home, it is their Mom who they speak with and still connect with. When gay kids come out to their parents, it is the Moms who love them no matter what who hug them and lead them gently back to right relations with their shell-shocked fathers.
Now, sometimes mothers are not quite who you expect them to be. Sometimes they are the moms who adopt, or the dads in a family with two dads, or sister wives, or someone who saw you were lost in the world and took you into her arms and mothered you. The person who looked at you and took responsibility for you, who saw you and fell in love with you just as you fell in love with her. She (or he) is the one you wanted when you were sick, that person is your mom and there is nothing quite so magical or amazing as that.
Moms love their kids no matter what. Now, I know there are cases in which we failed to receive what should be our birthright of unconditional love – for some reason a mom was not able to be the best she could be, not able to fulfill this role. Although I have argued with many on this point, I repeat and stand by what I know to be true: Mothers love their kids no matter what.
It is just what is true.
OK, I know the tone of this blog post is a bit schmaltzier than most – but allow me that on Mother’s day. Because I am a mom. It is my biggest passion. I can tell you that the moment I became a Mom for the first time, the moment after giving birth when my son crawled up to me and I took him in my arms, that completely floored me. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I had never before felt such deep love, such a deep connection. I remember thinking “Oh my God – I had no idea my Mom loved me this much!”
But she did. They all do. My Mom died four years ago and it is still a loss to me every day.
So honor the Mothers in your life today; if they are no longer here, honor their memory.
Please share a special Mom memory as a comment below.
Happy Mothers Day!
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