One Direction can kiss my ass. I mean, I like a pre-pubescent boy band as much as the next mom, but the song that keeps getting crammed down our throats “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” is making me crazy.  At least with Rihanna, it makes sense when I tell my kids that whips, chains, and a passion for your sweetheart to hold a gun to your head for fun are not necessarily what to look for in a date. I ask them to listen to the pain and dysfunction in her songs and I encourage them to observe her artistic expression – not emulate it. But these five teenage dreams in One Direction – they have a message more subtle, and more dangerous. “You don’t know you’re beautiful – that’s what makes you beautiful.” Really – that is what makes one beautiful? Not facial symmetry, not healthy complexion, and certainly not the wisdom, empathy and confidence that comes from within. No, none of that matters. What matters is not knowing you are beautiful. Awesome sauce.  That is just the message I want to give my girls. “No matter how beautiful you are – no matter how beautiful you feel – the world likes it when you really don’t think that highly of yourself. That is right girls, go practice acting like you are a stupid and whoever you are talking to knows more than you do. Giggle, nod, giggle. I am so proud of you!”  OK, I know that some of you already might be thinking “But Karen, it is so catchy and fun – it is just a song!” That is right, and words are just words, and attitudes are just attitudes – but all of these things change and define the way we look at the world. It matters that we are listening to the lyrics of the song – because you know damn well that your 10-year-old girl is, and she is soaking up every lesson a hottie with a recording contract is spewing out.  The lesson they are getting from this song is the same one Bella taught us in the Twilight series – and her spin-off humility girl from Fifty Shades of Grey reinforced – men are here to judge you and the last thing they want to see is a self-assured girl who doesn’t know how to shrug and slump around like she is not worthy.

“But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know you’re beautiful.”

Poor grammar notwithstanding, “smile at the ground”? Really? Avert your eyes when in the presence of the great and powerful man, ladies. Oh, and we may want to consider foot binding, these boys are not going to take a shining to a confident stride. Beautiful is good. Knowing you are beautiful is great.

Tell your friends...