I am going to be a roller derby girl. I have brand new skates, pads for every part of me that bends, a brain shell to keep me smart, and some seriously sexy fishnets and booty shorts.

There is only one problem. I skate like Bambi on ice.

Seriously. I am not even joking.

So, one might ask, what prompts a person to go to a roller derby team to try out when they, to put it delicately, SUCK at skating?

Well, that is an excellent question. The answer is simple. I want to be a roller derby girl. I want to be a roller derby girl and I don’t want to be someone who wanted to do something and just never did. That is not who I am.

This goes back to when I was 20 and I met a woman named Lisa Perry who was (gasp) 30 years old. She was trying to get to Australia because she had wanted to go her whole life and never did. This shocked my 20-year-old self. WHAAATTTT? I shrieked in my head. How can anyone get to be so old and never have done the one thing they wanted to do? Does not compute. I wanted to scream: “Just fucking go to Australia you old woman! You are 30! No time to waste, you have one foot in the grave – practically an entire thigh for the love of God!”

I think of Lisa Perry often. I am not sure if that old spinster ever made it to Australia, but I do know she inspired me to move to Italy at 22, open my own Drama studio, do stand-up comedy, and move to LA to follow my dreams.

I am not someone who looks back and says “I wish I had done that.” I am someone who just does it, even if I can’t stand up on skates without falling on my booty shorts.

It is OK to be the worst one on the team. The suckiest one out there is the bravest one out there. Not being perfect gives others permission to not be perfect as well. I hope other girls watch me out on the rink and think “Well, at least I am not her.” I want to inspire others. I want to Lisa Perry the hell out of that whole team. Why not?

Every time my kids try something new and get discouraged at their lack of immediate mastery I tell them to just keep trying, that they are strong and smart and capable, and anything they want to do is within their grasp. I tell them to play through the tough, keep going until it feels great, and that I love them no matter what. I invest heavily in them with time, money and support when they want to follow their hearts. Why wouldn’t I do the same for myself? I want to walk the talk. Believe me, spending so much on gear was a bitter pill to swallow – but I would do it for everyone else in my family – why not myself?

Moms should treat themselves as well as they treat their children.

It is so easy to get into the habit of putting everyone else first, but what is the real message we are giving our families? We can tell our kids how important they are all day every day, but if we don’t treat ourselves like we are important – why would they listen? Treat yourself like you want your kids to treat themselves. Know you can do anything, know how strong and smart you are, and give yourself a break and be nice to yourself.

Walk the talk.

Take a risk.

Throw yourself into everything you love.

There is really no other way to live.

The end.

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