My family is not super into sports. I tried, believe me. I am from Boston and sports fanaticism is a pretty much a general requirement of Bostonian identity – but no. Sports do not to speak to me, and the aggressive and/or rape culture associated with some sports has always made me recoil.

The school sport scene has had a similar effect on me, it all felt like a case of young people being pushed into things to live out their parent’s glory days  – or perhaps their parent’s fantasy of being part of a glory day at all. I thought travel team demands and banquets and obligations were all too much. Too developmentally inappropriate for young people to have all the pressure of what can be like a full time job on top of school and growing and all the other important things young people do.

I have made sports accessible to my kids. We have tried baseball, soccer, swim, horseback riding, lacrosse, cheer leading, and fencing. I gave them the opportunity but none of my kids ever latched on to anything long enough to make it to a travel team (whew!) and I never had to attend a banquet (double-whew!). All the while I was counting my lucky stars that I was not at all caught up in that ridiculousness.

But then dance happened for my daughter, and I found out I had been judgy and short-sighted and just plain wrong.

Because dance makes her happy.

She is focused.

She finds herself on the dance floor. The way I imagine many kids do through sports.

I realized I was becoming addicted to watching her experience pure joy, the way I imagine many parents do watching their kids hit their stride in sports. I realized that when something clicks for someone you love, it clicks for you too.

My daughter Gia (10) has always loved dancing and was never happier than at a family dance party, and now she dances with a serious studio and goes to serious competitions and I am so crazy into it. It is beautiful to watch young people put themselves out there, defing themselves through their craft, and supporting their team.

So, I now get that elusive parental feeling one gets when your kid is into something and you are a supportive part of it. Now I get the feeling of elation that comes with seeing your kid find their groove. I am embracing it, because she is thriving and I am loving it.

This is my dance mom look, cultivated under the guidance of my 16-year-old, who has watched every episode of Dance Moms:

I think I nailed it.

And, I will wear it to all the banquets because… now I am a dance mom.

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