The 10-Year Wedding

As you know, my husband and I renew our marriage every 5 years. This marriage may just be my favorite one ever.

Time brings a closeness that, as it turns out, is a pretty good thing.

So, I thought I would tell the story for this week’s blog – because the story is long and intimate and layered and beautiful and no one wants to read a thousand words about it, but these pics genuinely tell a story.

It is the story of 10 years well spent and a desire to do it again.

So, first Mark decided he wanted to propose to me in the most overkill way imaginable.

Ask me to marry him with a simple question? That would be too easy. Just a question? Come on!

At the Mark Miller school of overkill, we go big or go bigger.

So he started by having the kids all join each other, Von Trapp style, singing John Lennon’s Imagine.

This will be my favorite thing for my whole life.

Also, my kids are cute and fun and I love them.

And talented.

Gia learned to play this challenging song in only two lessons. And Spencer often writes his own amazing songs, but don’t tell him I said so or he will be really mad.

Speaking of lessons, my husband/editor actually full-on sang part one of the proposal. He starts by dropping to one knee, and tells me the anticipated proposal will come right after his song. Then he proceeds to sing a swing version of Radio Head’s Creep (“I’m a weirdo – I don’t belong here”). Never before considering himself a singer, this explains why months ago he suddenly decided to start taking singing lessons (from another amazing teacher named Karen at Good Vibes Rock School). He put thought into every second of every moment of the song, and it was accompanied by dancing (Gia and Amsi in the cutest matching dresses), props, and in-sync visual and audio special effects. It was the most humbling, sweetest thing in the world.

Then he gets down on one knee again, and again starts the proposal. But that is interrupted by an on-screen “Preview of Coming Attractions”, which included some suspicious content:

And it’s followed by a movie trailer (created by my husband’s imaginary Overkill Productions company). It’s not just a cutie little trailer. We are talking high production value, hysterical/charming film asking me to marry him, including visual references to Umbrella Academy. See for yourself:

As it turns out, I said yes.

Then we all watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding all together. Magical.

After the movie, we gathered on the beach, all wearing white for photos (and later for a Holi festival).

We are in the middle of these lovelies, kissing. It’s what we do.

Special.

The Mangiacotti-Miller 9 were loving life at this moment.

Then all hell broke loose, a Mariachi band spontaneously started playing and…

As we do, we took this colorful world and added even more color (while our British guests insisted on adding colour instead).

But honestly, it was off-the-hook fun.

Dreamy…

Thrilling…

Perfect.

Then we danced in the sunset, watched fire dancers, and headed up into the town to hear one of our favorite bands over dinner and cake.

Holy bananas! Was this cake amazing (made by the artist Victoria Zoch)!

I love watching my people hang and laugh together.

And man, did we dance…

Then the band played Sweet Caroline and the Boston crew lost their shit.

And we danced through the night, and we held each other tight (they also played that song – more lost shit).

The band was glorious; Pinky Guaro rocked the house.

I felt like this pretty much all night…

And we ended the night with fireworks on the beach.

And that was only day one (the proposal).

Day two (the wedding ceremony) started in the water off the coast of Costa Rica, with 44 of our closest friends on board a catamaran.

Mangiacotti-Millers thinking they’re in a Renaissance painting of sorts.

I think by all means of measuring cool, we were at the top of our game here.

Then our friend Jon got stuck in this freaky Miller twin sandwich.

Oh, then we got super-excited about drinking kombucha, which makes sense because this kombucha (made with love by our friend Cassandra) is exceptional.

Then in true Mangiacotti-Miller fashion, Boo and I went around making faces at our guests.

If there are any photos of me wearing this guy’s ridiculous glasses, please destroy.

Ruh-roh.

We dropped anchor off the coast of a remote beach and swam to shore for the ceremony.

Then we gathered in this sweet shaded spot, with this lovely arch our photographer spontaneously assembled with some driftwood and magic, draping it with a spectacular scarf designed by the incomparable Lisa Waltuch. Her art infuses your words, lyrics, poetry, hand painted into the fabric of of the scarf. She designs the script so beautifully, it is an experience to take it all in.

Our scarf contains quotes from all our seven kids about their wishes for us for the next five years. Here they are:

Katie: May your ‘Happy Ending Project’ not end anytime soon, but be full of all the happiness and projects
Spencer: If you want to be cool, you got to party like a fool
Cheyenne: I want our family to live every single day with unapologetic joy and wonder
Boo: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men (Willy Wonka)
Mark: I wish for everyone to find love and what they look for in life. I wish for prosperity and good health. I wish for us to stay unified under the bonds of family.
Campbell: If you are dancing regularly, then you might not be listening. If you are dancing like a Mangiacotti-Miller, then you are definitely not listening.
Gia: LOVE

We hit the beach with our pool noodles…

Then I change, because I’m classy like that. [Editor’s note: I do not change, because already classy like that.]

And our daughter marries us by the power vested in her by get-ordained-now.org (or something like that), and she was amazing.

Then I said some stuff and he tried to kiss me, but my daughter said not yet.

This is what I said:

I love you more than I thought possible. I just never thought.

I thought about what I could and should settle for.

I thought about marriage as being a pretty smart way to go through life.

I thought I would find a deeply flawed relationship and think “this is as good as it gets.”

But…

It gets so much better.

It gets so good. Better than good.

Surreal-level good.

So good, it feels a little suspicious.

For the first five years I kinda waited for the shoe to drop.

Like, for the rug to be pulled out from under me.

Like, this was so much more than I should ever expect.

Like, “okay fine – at least I had it once.”

But then you kept being there

You kept loving me and having fun with me and to be honest –

I am all about that life

I am all about this life and these kids and this place and those other places and anywhere where I come home to you.

Anywhere. I promise.

I promise to appreciate the fuck out of you every moment.

I promise to continue to say yes to everything.

Except that one thing.

And I promise to spend the next five years trying to live up to that amazing proposal.

I love you so much Mark Miller.

[Editor’s note: I love you so much, Karen Mangiacotti.]

Then he went full improv and made me cry and struck a cord and I think I made the right choice.

So that is that. And yes, it looks like I might be changing rings every five years.

We planned a lot of things for these two days, but we also left the door open for magic, and magic walked right in.

As the Holi festival started, we serendipitously found the mariachi band on the beach (or they found us). When we walked down the isle of the nuptial oasis we created, we realized we had no music – when our wedding guests all spontaneously erupted with: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You”, because we only love all the best people. And when the whole event was nearing its close, 20 beautiful dolphins led us back on the boat ride home as we watched the sunset because my life is a god damn Lisa Frank folder.