Calling it out
I got called out on something the other day. This is unusual for me because I think deeply about most things and I don’t often find myself in the position of feeling like something I am doing is not in keeping with my philosophy (also, when I am called out on things – I am the Queen of denial and can rationalize something out of left field that justifies my actions – it’s how I roll). But after my “Kick in the Aspergers” blog came out I got called on something by my RT. RT is my gay, the Will to my Grace, but also the guy who often calls me out on my bullshit. This time, he pointed out, I referred to my boy as my “(step) son”, even though that belies the way I truly feel about him. RT said this:
Loved Asbergia blog, but one thing bothers me; you refer to Mark Jr. as your (step) son. Like it’s an aside. I know that’s how you talk – in asides – but written like that it looks like those parentheses are trying to hide shame or something.
I feel you should call him your son. Simple and true. (you’re kinda the best mom he could have) See how those parentheses make it sound like something to be said behind someone’s back? Be loud and proud…wait, I don’t need to tell you that.
I call “Ben” my son, as weird as it sounds for me. It took a few tries though. I tried (foster) son, I tried (adpoted) son… But it only took me a short period of time to look at him and know that whatever modifier or adjective he is, the noun is SON. And it was very empowering.